Hi, I'm a psycho farm chick trapped in the smallest university imaginable! Watch me as I warp my life! Listen in! I'm sure you'll at least get a laugh!


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Feb 29, 2004
holy tiredness!


i have never been so freakin tired in my life!!!  yup.  so anyways, i think andree must be dead or something.

well as far as the boy situation goes, it just seems to be getting worse and worse.  the original guy that i've been whining about was kind of thinking of getting back together again.  this last week and a half however, he's been such a dick!  he's made me mad almost every day!  anyways, i told him that there is NO POSSI BLE WAY on this earth that i'd ever get with him.  and i mean it.  the other night i had had a HORRIBLE day and i went to him to feel better and boy was that a mistake.  he freaking made it like a hundred times worse.  he just is not what i thought he was, and he was never completely honest with me and he was always entirely too vague for me.  so now it's totally over.  but we're still really good friends!  i think maybe i'll make out with him sometime. 

so there's already another guy.  boy2 is my friend's brother.  he's a reallly cool guy and all but i just am not attracted to him at all.  he's too short and all he ever talks about is his mission.  his roommate is WAY hot though.  and he's perfect for me.  he's a rancher boy that's just so tall and handsome.  oh baby oh baby.

also, there is boy3.  boy3 is a speed addict that moved in with the elderly couple i work for.  he's really creepy.  i don't like him at all.  and of course he's been hitting on me.  it just goes to prove my theory that i only attract users, losers, and abusers. 

i am still SO MAD at boy1 for his stupidness and because he just makes me so FREAKING MAD.  but i'll get over it.

well it looks like that's it.

oh ps i bought a jeep.

Posted at 04:50 pm by sunducky20
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Feb 17, 2004
Holy Romance!


Well this weekend was insane. I spent all of it either working or with him. Yep. The guy I broke it off with. And the entire weekend was full of romance. At least everything had a romantic undertone. Ya know?

So now I wonder if he wants me back. I definitely want him. When we broke it off, I told him no making out, no hand holding, nothing more romantic than cuddling, but boy oh boy was this weeknd more than that. So does he want some? And not jsut some action? I know I've been talking about how much I want to get some action but I really only want romance. I'm really just a big sap.

I'm not really stressing about any of this however, because I honestlyknow that we're goodenough friends that he's not going to just toss me aside or anything and I don't feel like I need to jump through hoops or anything. So yeah.

I'm starting to think that Andree dropped off the face of the earth. I check my email nearly every day in hopes of word from the kid. But no. What a turd. ;o)

Anyways, I'm going now so buh bye.

Posted at 04:30 pm by sunducky20
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Jan 26, 2004
singin' the blues!

hey.  feeling pretty down today.  am annoyed with myself and with this STUPID EMAIL PROGRAM!!!  it has a virus and is not letting me read my emails from You-Know-Who. 

saturday night i broke it all off with him.  i regret it all.  i wonder if i did it because i was scared or what.  i wonder if . . .

i still like him.  in the back of my mind, i hear a little voice saying "but i LOVE him!"  i don't know if i'd go as far to say love but dang it i was getting close. 

i suspect treachery in my apartment.  i think my roommate likes him, and she's young enough and stupid enough to go after him, and he's horny enough to go along with it.  it hurts to be in the same room with him and know that he'll never be mine again.  ugh!

i HATE this!  if anyone has any really good soothing advice for me, please, by all means, share it because i feel exceptionally bummed.  :o) 

Posted at 08:19 pm by sunducky20
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Jan 17, 2004
Can we just make out and get it over with?

I am SO confused!  I should form a club, because I'm sure every girl has been in my situation.  It could be a support group for those of us going through stupid relationships. 

So my man is driving me crazy.  I hesitate to say this, but I think I'm falling for the kid.  I think he's trying to leave it up to me to call him and set something up for us to do, but I want to be chased.  I know I can't get everything that I want, but I WANT THIS, DAG NAMMIT. Should I have called him tonight?  Should I call him at all?  I made a bet with Erin that I could resist calling him for a week.  If I win and don't call him until Tuesday then she'll pay for my trip up to her farewell.  But I will feel bad if he thinks that this is a "sign" that I don't want to be with him. 

I've got to stop emailing him or he won't call me.  He called me "babe" in one of his emails and that was kind of wierd, but not in a bad way.  If that's possible. 

I am going CRAZY!!!!  I can't think of anything else but him!  And I try so hard!  ANd I'm not obssessing!  I swear!  Cross my heart!  I should email him and say that I WOULD call him but I have a bet going.  Would that be cheating?  I know one thing for sure.  I am going to WIN that stupid bet!  I will! 

I'm going nuts.  I'm going nuts.  I'm going nuts.

I just emailed him and told him that I can't call him but I couldn't tell him why yet.  Hopefully he's on the net and will call me. If not, I'm going to go insane, because my back and neck hurt so bad from work and I really really REALLY want a massage. 

I'm going to cry!  I want to see him!  NOW!

Okay I'm done.

For another crisis, my manager is suddenly starting to enforce the rules here, and she's telling me that I need to get rid of my fish.  My fish!  We've been through a lot together!  I love the thing!  I've had him for a year and a half.  I can't hide him, surely can't kill him, and I cant' give him away.  AHHHH>  I know "all drains lead to the ocean" but that's not any comfort at all here in Idaho.

Posted at 08:19 pm by sunducky20
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Jan 16, 2004

HEY!  I'm going insane!  My job is KILLING ME!!!!!  Actually it's the lack thereof that is killing me.  My employers, unfortunately, are married, and keep miscommunicating to each other what I am going to be doing and so forth. 

Also my man is killing me.  WHAT IS GOING ON BETWEEN US?!?!?!?!?  I am starting to think that either we need to speed it up or forget about it or I am either going to lose interest (because of the ridiculousness of it all)  or throw him into a snowdrift.

I miss ANDREE!  Yep, a lot of my friends are gone because now they (like me) are off track and enjoying being home (or not but you get the point). SO it's kinda lonesome here in Idaho.  But it's okay.

So this is the job I currently have:  I get up at 3:30 and go to the business development center and clean the entire building.  It's been fun so far.  Getting up so early and trekking though the entire city at four in the morning makes me feel like I'm doing something illegal.  Not that I like to do illegal things or anything, but it's fun to be doing something that seems to be remotely secret or covert.  ;o)

YEah, so keep your fingers crossed that I get another job, or I won't make RENT!!!!!!   If only I had a CAR!  MAN, I'm going NUTS!

Posted at 03:19 pm by sunducky20
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